The Arsene Wenger Helter Skelter

“When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide
Where I stop and I turn and I go for a ride
Till I get to the bottom and I see you again”

It’s a little known fact that Paul McCartney wrote Helter Skelter about Arsene Wenger and the zip on his blue coat.

Wenger is involved in another Helter Skelter this week in one of the more baffeling transfer windows.

Arsenal have already sold Theo Walcott to Everton, with Sanchez seemingly on his way to Manchester United. That deal would see Mkhitaryan go to Arsenal in return. The Armenian would then be reunited with his old Dortmund team mate Aubameyang. This attack might also be supplemented by Malcolm from Bordeaux.


In this article I’ll go through the potential players and their impact on our draft teams.

Sanchez, Midfield.

Not much to be said on Sanchez. Whilst he has not hit the heights of previous years he is still in decent enough form and with a high potential for the remainder of the season. There’s not enough quality to even think about getting rid of him. He may have some trade value to giddy United fans but make sure you get something good in return.

Mkhitaryan, Midfield.

Absolute enigma. Deserves to be remembered at United for his scorpion kick goal and for his goal in the Europa League final rather than as a makeweight for another player. In terms of drafting him is loss of form means he might be available to pick up. If so you should go for him as his off the cuff, free flowing style may be more suited to Wenger than Mourinho. There’s going to be some games where Ozil and Mkhitaryan cut teams to ribbons and these will outweigh the games where both disappear at the same time. Definitely an option to pick up in free agency but be careful about wasting a waiver pick on him.

Aubameyang, Forward

Save a waiver pick for this guy. 141 in 212 in the Bundesliga including 21 in 23 this season means he is an absolute must if you get the chance to get him. Playing with Ozil and reuniting with Mkhitaryan means he could easily replicate those numbers in the Premier League. The forward position is shallow anyway anyone playing in a league with more than 4 sides in it must try to get him.

Walcott, Midfielder.

There is obviously a huge argument to be had about whether Walcott has ever reached his potential. But in FPL terms it’s irrelevant. Walcott averages a goal or assist every 131 minutes since his debut and as soon as he gets established in the team with Tosun and Sigurdsson to play off he has to be considered.

Malcolm, Midfielder/Forward

Would probably be classed as a midfielder which would enhance his appeal slightly. Still need to be wary of him. 7 goals and 5 assists this season at an average of 1 every 136 minutes is a decent return. But as Lacazette has shown these figures don’t always translate from the French league. Probably need to wait and see on this unless you need to gamble.

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